Twins Needs are Unique

14 November 2011

I've learnt a lot about being a mother and parenting twins in the last 12 months. It's really been quite a steep learning curve for me; but the most important lesson I learnt about parenting twins took place when my babies were just 4 months old.

At that age, their personalities were already coming out. Spice's was more of what in my native language we call "Old woman's cat" ie. she loooved to cuddle and snuggle. Sugar was however more interested in independent play with things rather than people. So this fateful afternoon, I was home alone with the girls. Spice was snuggled up contentedly with me and Sugar was in her bouncer happily counting her fingers and marvelling that she had so many.

Spice and I had cuddled for 20 minutes and I started to feel bad that Sugar was left out of the one-on-one mommy time. So I put Spice down and picked Sugar up for some cuddling too. Bad call! Very bad call! Both babies got mega-upset and cried - Spice because she wanted to continue cuddling and Sugar because I just interrupted her play. In trying to treat my twins equally, I ended up with 2 unhappy babies and one frazzled mommy.

And that my good people is the most important lesson in twin parenting for me. Loving your twins must not equal treating them equally. Though they share a birthday and some DNA, they're 2 distinct personalities, speak different love languages and have very different parenting needs.

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