Me: Baby why is there sand on your hair?
Spice: Charles* put sand in my hair
Me: Did you like it?
Me: Did you tell him to stop?
Me: Next time, if your friends do something you don't like, you tell them "no, no, no" and if they don't listen, you talk to your teacher ok?
Spice: Ok mummy.
Sugar: I don't like Eric*
Me: Why not?
Sugar: He kissed me
Me: Did you tell him no?
Sugar: Yes and I talk to Ms Anna*
Me: Good. If your friends do things you don't like, you always tell them "no" and "stop it" and you talk to your teacher
After 2 minutes
Me: And nobody except mummy and daddy are allowed to kiss you ok?
Both girls: Ok
Spice: Eric* is loving me
Me: How do you know Eric* loves you?
Spice: Because he kissed me (Her love language is physical touch so....)
Me: NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO KISS YOU EXCEPT MUMMY AND DADDY, OK?!
Me: (mumbling to myself) And that Eric* is lucky he's only 3 years old!!!!
The girls have been in full-time childcare since they were 5 months old and so have had a lot of interactions with their peers in classroom settings. With those interactions have come a few negatives like the girls being on the receiving end of bites, sand in hair, shoves etc. It's the age and I know most of the kids mean no harm but still, this is the time to start teaching my babies assertiveness so that they do not become bully-fodder in the future. It's surprising to note that even though my twins can be assertive when dealing with each other, it doesn't always carry over to when dealing with their peers
I've learnt that being twins does not give them a big advantage in terms of socialization and peer-group interactions. I've still had to work on teaching the girls to speak up, assert themselves and talk to a person of authority if and whenever they are in situations they don't like among their peers. It's still a work in progress and I'm not always sure I'm giving them the utmost best advice. However, I know the daycare environment is a really safe one compared to kindergarten and I want them to get as much practice on assertiveness now.
Twin Parenting Lesson 6: Being born a twin does not necessarily equip you with extra social skills. Some things still have to be taught