Talking to 6 Year Olds About Sex

25 April 2017

The twins are 6 years old and that apparently is the age where all sorts of pointed questions about sex get asked. Add a newborn baby into the mix and the questions roll out even faster and "furiouser". And of course, mommy is the answerer of all such questions. I confess that I've been negligent in preparing myself to answer those questions. Should have read a few books on talking to kids about sex but life was too short and I was too busy.

Regardless of my tardiness in reading up on the subject, I've handled the conversations with a combination of correction, diversion and education. The conversations go somehow like this:

Objective: To fix the misinformation usually got from their peers

Spice: So mommy, are you going to feed the baby with you boobies?
Me: What are boobies?
Spice: Those round things on your chest
Me: Who told you they're called boobies? Tip: Always find out who else has been having conversations about sex or body parts with your kids
Spice: Ryan in my class. He said they are called boo-boos when they're small and boobies when they're big
Me: They're called breasts and yes, I'm going to be feeding the baby with the milk that comes out

Objective: To postpone the conversation until the kids (or you) are better equipped to handle it 

After a candid conversation of how babies get in mommies' tummies
Sugar: How do the babies come out of the mom's tummy?
Me: The doctor takes them out
Sugar: Does the doctor cut the mommy's tummy?
Me: Yes, sometimes the doctor does that.
Sugar: Sometimes? So how else do the babies come out of the mom's tummy?
Me: *Thinking* oh shit! oh Shit! oh SHIT! I'm not ready for this! I should have read the book!
Sugar: *In a louder voice* I said, how do the babies come out of their mom's tummy?
Me: Would you like popcorn chicken or drumstick?
Sugar: I don't really want chicken...*launches into a soliloquy of reasons why she hates chicken*

Objective: Teach them how to name body parts without being bashful and give them tools to be able to accurately talk about their bodies and things they've witnessed

Spice: My baby brother has that thingie in his front bumbum?
Me: Yes, it's called a penis. Boys have penises and girls have vaginas
Spice: Yeah, I once saw ... penis in daycare when he was peeing
Me: OK.

Obviously, I've handled some of the conversations better than others. To be honest, I thought some of the questions would come much later in life... when the girls were closer to 10. I was mistaken.

Have you walked this path yet? Any tips for this mama?

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