Another (unwanted) parenting laurel this weekend - our first 2am visit to the emergency room. A harrowing experience that ended well but showed me the next parenting beast I need to conquer - guilt and worry
It started an hour after I had put the girls to bed. I heard Spice cough
Daddy: I always worry when they cough at night
Me: Me too. I listen for the clear throat signal Continue ipad game
Spice continues coughing so I go to the room to check up on her and her bed is covered in puke (that's vomit for the more medical-term minded). Scoop her up, call daddy to help and we clean her and the bed up. And that's when the crazy thoughts started.
Why is she throwing up? What did she eat? Must be reflux acting up. Did I give her too much lactose today? Must be the storebrand cheese. That's a lot of puke. I need to go to the store and get some electrolyte juice and pediasure. I need to do some research on cheese, yoghurt and lactose sensitivity. I wonder if there's some casein:whey ratio to look at. Will it be on the food label? There must be some info out there. I'll google it. Maybe I need to check babycenter.
Driving to the store
What has she been eating? Could it be the pasta she had for dinner? Or the cheese I sprinkled on top? It was the first time using that cheese. I know I should have stuck with Kraft instead of storebrand. Cheapskate! Your baby's sick because you bought cheap cheese. I'm never buying storebrand again. I hate that store. Why should I trust their brand? (thats the same store I'm driving to by the way)
In the store
Could it be because I warmed the pasta in the microwave instead of in a pot like I usually do? Maybe it's the formula. Has it been open for more than 30 days? No. Why did I buy Costco formula? Could there be something wrong with it? But they've been taking that with their milk for over 2 weeks now? Maybe just the bottom of the can is contaminated. Or could it be because I didn't stir it in with a spoon like I usually do? Maybe the lumps grew germs due to a difference in internal temperature? that's the engineer voice talking
On the drive home
Could it be because I let them play by the screen door. I saw her licking the door. Maybe there was some wierd mold on the screen. This Newfoundland weather is crazy wet. Perfect for wierd mold. Why did we move? I wanna go back to Calgary. Did I leave the pasta out too long before putting it in the fridge? Maybe it's the breakfast cereal. Has it been open for more than 30 days? No, but I'm getting rid of it anyway! Maybe it's an ear infection. The daycare said she was tugging at her ear. But she always tugs at her ear. I should have had her ears checked. But I don't have a doctor yet. I don't like the last one we saw. He's too young. He asked if they were eating every 2 hours. What type of doctor thinks one year olds should eat every 2 hours?
I get home and turns out she threw up some more while I was out. She's refusing to take the pedialyte or pediasure. I take her to the room and have her lie in bed with me
This way I can monitor her breathing. What if I sleep too deeply and don't hear if she has breathing difficulties? What if she falls off the bed? What if I roll on top of her? What if she buries her head in the mattress and is too weak to lift it up? Ok, I'll make her lie on top of me. Yes, kangaroo care. Isn't she too old for kangaroo care. She's big! I hope my sweater zipper isn't scratching her skin. Her skin may be dry and get bruised. I should have lotioned them. Wow, she's really put on weight. My back hurts. I think she has to go back on her bed. Oh my! She pooped last night. And I kept them in their pjs all day. Maybe some weird poop-microbe grew on her pjs and found it's way into her stomach. Maybe it's because I rinsed her milk cup and gave her water in it instead of washing with soap and hot water. Maybe it's because I stopped sterilizing their pacis. I should be sterilizing their sippy cup valves
I get up and load all the girls dirty clothes in the washer for a sterilizing hot wash cycle and go back to bed. She throws up again. And then 10 minutes later, she throws up again.
That's it! we're going to the clinic. Where are my boots? Wait! These boots are slippery. I need to wear the ones with high traction. Don't want to fall in the snow while carrying the baby. If I do, I need to remember to twist my body and fall on my back so I can cushion the baby's fall
On the way to the hospital
I can't believe the 24 hour clinic was closed. Why would a 24 hour clinic be closed on a Saturday night? I hate this city. Why did I leave Calgary? Maybe we shouldn't have taken her for a walk down the corridor. I could smell cigarettes. Maybe the second hand smoke reduced her body's immunity!
At the hospital
Oh she's perked up. She's babbling again. We're going to look like those over-panicky parents who go to an emergency room for everything. Why is she wiggling so much? She wants to crawl around. Not happening. Need to hold her tighter. I can't afford to put her on the floor. There are so many exotic germs in the hospital. She mustn't touch anything. She still smells of puke. But I cleaned her up. What kind of mother can't properly clean puke off her baby?
Finally the doctor sees us and give us a clean bill of health and some medicine to take care of the vomiting. As she's leaving the room I muster up the courage to ask the question "What was wrong with her?" The unasked question being "What did I do wrong?"
Doctor: Oh it's just the stomach flu. It's been going around for a while now. She probably got it from daycare.
On the ride home
That daycare is licensed. I checked! Was I too eager to sign them up over there? Maybe its....
STOP! Pray with me!